Okay, so I'm a bum...

So I had this great idea when I first started blogging that I would blog weekly. So, seeing as how I have failed miserably at that, I have decided to add blogging to my new 2010 schedule (which, by the way, I have completed up trough the end of April.) So far so good. As of Jan. 1, 2010, I will be updating my blog bi-weekly in concordance with "the writing of THE BOOK." So, if you've visited and noticed the lack of excerpts, now you know why. But, hopefully it will all be worth the wait!!

Okay, okay, so I'm a terrible blogger. Who cares? No, actually, I have changed direction with my book and have (temporarily) discontinued the story that I had posted an excerpt from. I'm working on something completely different, which is exciting for me and will hopefully spin me in gear to finish the first story. So in the mean time and in between time, I'll post some thoughts and feelings. But know, that sooner or later there will be something new and more intriguing than my previous excerpt. (Hopefully, that is.) Until then, have a Happy Turkey Day!!

What to do, what to datgum do

Well, here I am in the second day of my blogdom trying to figure out what to post next, and then it hits me. I am working on this book right, (well three actually) and it would behoove me to get some real feedback on my story. So what I plan on doing is putting up a chapter of the story every week up until the climax, at which point, I am not sure what I will do as I have not thought that far ahead as of yet. It will only be posted for two days and I won't tell you when it will be posted, you'll just have to check daily because I am cruel like that and because some people cannot be trusted. And yes, I have thorough documentation of my words, so please don't try me because I will come after you with a vengeance. So keep an eye out for the first installment...

A virgin, no more...

So this is my very first blog, ever. Though I must say, losing my blog virginity is relatively easy, it is in fact disheartening. It has me feeling a little uneasy, and very much under scrutiny. What will she say? Is it worth reading? Is it worth my time, precious time that I will never regain? The judgement, the agony. Oh, screw it! If you don't like it, you have the ability to leave the page and never return-leaving my words in obscurity as unknown, undesirable dribble to one that could care less about me or my thoughts. But for those of you that know the depth of my promise, I will try not to disappoint. I will use this blog to the best of my ability to sharpen my craft, to hone in on what it is that is supposed to be my contribution to mankind, and to bear my heart and soul, in ink (you know what I mean). So with all that being said, like Erykah, I'm an artist and I am sensitive about my sh*^! So keep in mind that this is me, raw and unadulterated. I am giving my whole self to you, bearing it all, with no covetousness. Your comments are welcome, as are your criticisms. All I ask is that you are honest and unbiased in your assessments of my work. The truth will not make enemies of us. If you think that I am the worst writer in the history of the language, then I thank you now, for it is you that will make me strive to be the very best.

Excerpt from a yet to be titled novel...

Okay, so what I'm trying to do is figure out if this style of writing is really my calling or if I just write this way because it comes easy to me. What do you think? All thoughts are welcome.


     I got to the clinic in no time. I went in and started filling out the paper work. As woman after woman emerged through the door from “the other side” with teary eyes and looks of remorse, it hit me. I was pregnant. There was a little human life inside of me. As pure and perfect as life itself. Don’t let it faze you Ky, you’re doing the right thing. What was I doing here? Reclaiming your life girl, remember? Suddenly I was winded as if I had been running, and I realized that I had been. I was running from myself, from my responsibilities; from the life that I had made for myself with a beautiful man that loved me. But you love to run girl, it’s what you do. All my life I wanted to be on the cusp of possibility and here I was, on the cusp of life and I was running from the endlessness of the horizon rather than into it. Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re doing what you’ve got to do to maintain your goals. But I had succeeded in all of my dreams. I was about to graduate from school, I had found the truest love that I would ever know and my life, since leaving home, had been perfect. Just then, a nurse called my name, and the conversation in my head was on hold. As I walked back into a small exam room, my heart began to race. The confusion was nothing new, it was the same sensation that I had when Dobbs put the ring on the table. But I wasn’t really sure if it was confusion or terror. As asked, I went and peed in the cup and they confirmed my pregnancy. As I lay back on the table, looking up at a picture of Sri Lanka on the ceiling, a doctor entered the room with a sonogram machine. As the cold gel was squished around on my belly, my womb appeared on the screen with a little blob off to the left off my navel. The doctor motioned to the screen and said, “here it is.” I closed my eyes, pretending that I hadn’t seen it. “I’d say, by the size of it, you’re about 8-9 weeks. According to your last menses, I would say closer to 9. So, Ms. Wilkins the choice is yours, you're a candidate for the suction procedure. I’ll give you a few minutes to decide.” And in an instant, she was gone. As I lay, eyes still closed, I felt numb, cold, uneasy, on the verge of tears. There was no way that I could go through with this. I had to stop running from myself, it was a race that I would never win. Suddenly I felt nauseous, I had to get out of there… I had to get up… I had to get up… I had to...

“Baby get up. Baby! Baby get up.” I opened my eyes to see Dobbs before me. 
“Are you alright Baby, you were talking in your sleep. You alright?”
“Yeah, I was having a bad dream, but I’m ok now. Go back to sleep, Baby.” I snuggled in closer to D. I spent the remainder of the night in Dobbs’ arms, and in the morning I awoke with a diamond on the third finger of my left hand. Even now, I must admit that it was beautiful. It sparkled like sunshine after a storm and the brilliant marquis cut looked at home on my thin finger.